Mutual ‘tings’

I can not believe I have not written about this

I have not written at all about a lot of things that I have been wanting to

I met a man, but I knew this man

I met a boy, but I knew this boy

I met him, yet again

Except this time…I am choosing

I am willing to work for it

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Boundaries and playing God

There is a song by Paramore called Playing God,

“If Gods the game we are playing then we must get more aquatinted because it must be so lonely so be the only one who is holy”

I honestly love this … because so many people try to play God. There is nothing more annoying then a “christian” who judges your every move. Where you walk and how you talk, who decides that you are not holy enough to be around. Who decides that you have to prove your worth to be allowed access into their life. I would understand it, if there was no tie, no blood running between all the haze.

This is my war cry. This is the day I stand up and fight by letting go. My battle is not mine but the Lords. I bow as he walks before me to slay the enemy. I kiss the ground behind him to get a taste of his holiness.

Can I tell who ever is reading this…. There is nothing you can do to win the approval of another human being! You can and will never meet anyones expectations. You will always fail. You will always fall short. A HUGE BUT – ITS OKAY. You are loved, as the person who you are. This doesn’t mean there is no room for change or improvement. This means that you will no longer be held back by GUILT, or SHAME. God knows your weakness, your struggle, he knows why you are the way you are! If someone does not want you in their life because you are not good enough….or because they see you and see destruction, perversion, or anything less than what they want in their life then WALK AWAY. but first, give it to God. If you are angry let it be your war cry! Yell out to God, sound your internal trumpet. Clear the path for the Lord, for the true warrior Jesus Christ, who was born for just a time as this. Bow in his presence for he loves to battle for the one he loves…you.

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So either this exam was super easy or I studied really well. Either way, bomb grade. I have honestly been learning about the power of multiple exposure and sleep consolidation. That horrible feeling when you are repeating something because you want to jam it into your brain is actually called your working memory. Things here can be easily forgotten, it’s best to study, sleep, study, and KNOW. Love this application and is definitely going to help me in the future.

I can not believe this is the fourth exam already. One more exam, our final and then that is IT! victory cheer the semester is almost over. so bittersweet

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So for this exam, I was actually pretty happy because I was EXTREMELY distracted, I had not studied like I wanted. I don’t know what was happening to me at this moment. I was really disappointed in myself, for slacking off. Never again.

Today

Today will be the last time

Like an orb in my hand

I look at this strange thing in front of me

I place it directly in God’s face

I say LOOK AT IT

DO SOMETHING

I am at the end of me..again

This time God.. I demand that You help me

Oh I am so bold

But I know that I should not be suffering like this

A constant whipping at my back

Just when I think I am okay

I am swallowed by the darkness

It consumes me

If you would just take me away

far away

If you would just give me the opportunity

Everything good hurts me

If I settled, if I wanted less

I would be okay, then I would be content

But I strive and it makes me insane

 

 

 

 

Two down three to go

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I was worried I was not going to do well on this exam. We got into hormones, brain injury genetics, drugs, and aging. There were a lot of topics but toward the end I studied pretty hard for an entire week. I thought I was going to get at least a 95. Going into the exam, it was all pretty straight forward if you understood the language and the concepts. HOWEVER, I knew exactly what I got wrong as I was bubbling in my answer. It was those things that I skipped over, and didn’t spend much time on. Of course what I spent most of my time on was no where to be found. (typical) I have to tackle this bad habit of spending too much time on one thing and not everything equally. But again, considering the class average, not too shabby.

ONWARD!

Untrained monkeys

What happens when untrained professionals give out help to the gullible

It wreaks havoc into the lives of the families

Where has purity gone

Where has hope for a better future

Only evil produces fears into the hearts of man

Pastors have suddenly become clinicians

Trained psychologists

They create a platform on the back of Christ

They promote freedom and security

Little do they know or care to understand the creation of God

His loved ones and His DESIGN

They promise spiritual freedom through experimental perversion.

In the name of God with the hand of science.

Yet, they refuse to do the work

They refuse to study and see for themselves

They desire spoon-fed psychology

Their chests are puffed up because their manipulation prevails

Yet, they have little to no clue what He has created

 

 

 

 

I’m not an emotion

I am a fact of life

Here from the beginning to the end

What I do is not controlled by wishful thinking

Faith is knowledge

Power and wisdom

Words can not contain what and who I am

Accept what I have produced

Choose to love the imperfect

Human bodies mean nothing

It is the Life inside of it that I care about

I produce fighters

Warriors

Love is not for the weak

Love should be like oxygen. Necessary, everywhere, and free. Don’t let anyone tell you that you need to earn love, or friendship. Most often than not, it is people who struggle with loving themselves that are stingy with loving others freely. Always remember that an empty cup cannot pour out!

Stay tender, love in all situations, cry and curse if necessary. But never stop loving other human beings. And if you find yourself slipping, hold onto the thought that you aren’t like them.

One down four to go

I mean considering the class average I’m okay

I definitely could have studied more

Now that I know how the exams are I think it’ll probably do better next time

I bought a lecture recorder midway which might have helped me to remember more and study better. Considering the amount of content we have to remember, I don’t see how anyone is not recording the lectures.